When I was in high school I experienced my first back spasm. It hurt so bad that I couldn’t move or breathe. Unfortunately it was only the beginning of my life long struggle with “back issues”; the spasms continued into my late teens and twenties and the pain eventually got worse.
When I was pregnant with my daughter, (my third child) my back pretty much went out in my first trimester. Sleep was torture and I was uncomfortable for about 7 of the 8ish months I was pregnant (she was born at 36 weeks) and I was in pain and out of alignment until after she was born. And by the time my fourth and last baby came along, I was a frequent visitor at my chiropractor’s office for regular “adjustments”.
My back issues were further exacerbated a few years ago when my car was rear-ended three times in a two year period. Yup, ouch.
The diagnosis, slipped discs in my lower back and neck as well as arthritis in my neck.
I’ve had to live with the physical pain that comes from a misaligned body. My hips and back are “off” or kiddywampus (as my MIL would say) and my body hurts, I go in for an adjustment to get realigned and I feel relief. But I’ve realized both in my own life and in the lives of clients that I coach that the same happens when our lives get out of alignment.
Life hurts or at the very least can feel really uncomfortable or “off” when our time, habits, actions do not align with our core values, passions and priorities. We just don’t feel “right” until we are truly living what we believe with purpose and passion.
There is a soul ache that comes from a misaligned life.
While I can get to a place where I can function with pain, it’s still uncomfortable and definitely less than ideal. Less than what I believe God wants for me. Similarly, we can live with distractions, “settle” for things, engage in temporary fixes, but until we live with alignment we miss the ultimate goal or target of God’s very best for us.
I think of the definition of sin which translates to missing the mark and I think about how painful that truly is. Not in a judgmental everyone is a sinner, we must all repent kind of way but instead in considering that God truly has a plan, a target for our lives that we should be aiming at which is a relationship with Him that ultimately places us in the center of His will. When we take our eyes of that target we miss the mark, and end up getting sidetracked and instead moving toward other targets that were never intended for us.
And once we’ve trailed off it can be hard to get back on the right path. It may require a hard adjustment.
I’m going to be honest and confess that I’ve been hiding lately. I’ve been struggling here with the blog. I have things that I want to share but instead have gone silent because I’ve been torn between two paths.
I started this blog years ago because I wanted to share my faith and I combined it with my coaching website because I also wanted to share what I do and not have to manage two sites. But then I started listening to voices. The ones that say I need to get bigger and do more marketing and be more salesy. I’ve read all kinds of material on branding and marketing, I’ve learned about what my web site should look like for more exposure. Where I need to strategically place my photos and what my perfect tagline should sound like. I’ve looked at dozens of WordPress themes and questioned what I the site “should” look like and I got stuck because it just doesn’t feel like me.
I started feeling spiritually kiddywampus.
So instead of making any kind of decisions, I hid and just got sucked into reading the entire Divergent series in just over a week because I needed to escape and young adult fiction about a future dystopian series seemed like the perfect getaway.
But of course God was even there (He really is everywhere) and as I read about being brave, and selfless and honest, and peaceful and smart and how we are each all of those things I had an aha moment which was basically that I need to just continue to be me. To live what I coach and sit in the discomfort of a life in pursuit of alignment.
I want to be a person of integrity both online and offline. I am both a coach who writes and a writer/blogger who coaches. I think people should hire me as a coach because I’m good at what I do. Because I don’t have all the answers but I’m skilled at asking the right questions. Because I believe passionately in the work I do and have clients who can testify to my work ethic. And because if you are feeling a bit out of alignment and are ready to make some adjustments I want to help.
But I can’t wrap my head around being salesy so you won’t find much of that here. I will share upcoming news and events that pertain to my work because I believe in it and it is a part of my life and I want to share what I know and what I believe to be helpful.
You might notice a new logo and profile pic, mostly because I wanted the site to reflect where I want to go moving forward and also because I don’t have straight hair anymore so that old pic felt inauthentic (and honestly sometimes a girl just wants a pretty picture of herself 🙂 ) and I may still play around with some of the format but really that’s about it.
So I hope you’ll continue to join me in this space. Where I will continue to share about family, my faith and maybe some practical tips as we journey together in pursuit of a life aligned.
* Local friends I would love to invite you to join me next month at The Daring Way™ Spring Retreat. Contact me for more info.