Reflect: Permission and Pause



One of the exercises we do in The Daring Way™ involves permission slips. Brene’ Brown uses them and encourages everyone to carry around post-its to write out permission slips to yourself as needed. For example she shared that when she was on the Oprah show she wrote out a note giving herself permission to be “goofy and uncool”.

So before moving forward with a reset I think it might be helpful to look at what permission we may need to give ourselves.

This can be a challenge as it might seem overly simplistic but at the same time I think many of us live with our breath held, waiting for someone else to give us permission when it’s truly ours to take.

Some examples:

  • Permission to be afraid
  • Permission to mess up
  • Permission to fail and try again
  • Permission to not care what people think
  • Permission to not feel bad for wanting more
  • Permission to stop apologizing
  • Permission to break stereotypes

What permissions you need to give yourself in order to change course and allow for a reset?

Once we have permission to move forward, the first step in resetting our course is to accept the need for a reset.

In other words, there needs to be a pause.

Honest reflection.

Deep breath.

The realization that something is not working.

And I don’t know what your something is but here are a few of mine:

  • My time and my priorities are not in line with each other
  • I spend time on things that add no value and feel stressed to accomplish other tasks
  • I let others define me
  • My health has come down to the bottom of my priorities list

We need to be brutally honest about what isn’t working before being able to move forward and doing something about it.

One can get so caught up in the flow of life that we can miss the opportunities to stop, breathe and say “enough, I don’t want to continue that way”.

And I don’t know about you but I can get set in the discomfort of my life, thinking “it’s OK; I don’t really need to do anything things will just work out, right?”

Or I rationalize, “it’s not THAT bad. . .” Or “it will be better when . . .”

But meanwhile time passes by and nothing changes because I kid myself into thinking that change will magically happen from some outside source rather than taking ownership of the situation.

Where in your life are you sensing a need for a reset?

Today’s assignment is just to take some time, give yourself permission to reset, hit pause and assess where you’re at.

Where are you feeling the disconnect?

What isn’t working? Where are you feeling there needs to be a little “tweak”? What’s missing?

Find a notebook, buy yourself and cup of coffee or tea and have an honest chat with yourself.

And write a few permission slips.

Here's a peek at my journal
Here’s a peek at my journal

See ya tomorrow!



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  1. I love the idea of permission slips. I think I need to give myself permission to not care what others think, permission to hit publish even if it’s not perfect (for this #31days challenge)… And probably more… I think I’ll go get some coffee tomorrow and take my notebook.

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