Because I’m a Mirror
My Sweet Girl is going to be SIX tomorrow.
We’ve been counting down the days to six since the beginning of April, I’m trying to be excited about it but my heart hurts just a little at my baby girl being not quite so little anymore.
Last year was hard as I counted down the last days of four but this year. . . SIX just seems so big!
And that thing about the days being long but the years short; I’m feeling it SO much right now.
And because I have teenagers I know exactly how short those years really are. And I’m realizing in just a blink she’ll be 12 and then 18 and then off getting married and having a family of her own.
What can I teach her in the years I have left?
I just finished reading Love Idol and in it Jennifer Lee says this,
We are all mirrors. What or rather whom will I reflect?
The truth is that all of my children will learn from what they see in my reflection but my daughter; she will learn to be a woman from what she sees in my reflection.
People say she looks like me so maybe in some ways she’s already my reflection. . .
What do I want her to see in me?
I know what I have reflected in the past. . .
- People pleasing
- Approval seeking
But that’s not what I want her to take away. I want her to see:
I want her to experience the gift of true friendship. To be vulnerable, to cheer for her friends rather than compete with them.
I want her to learn about healthy relationships and see that though her dad and I are not perfect, we strive to honor God in our marriage.
I want her to see that being a wife (which I have had to bumble through and figure out on my own as I was raised by a single mom and did not have an example to look to) is not what the world says it should look like. That truly it is about humility, forgiveness and modeling marriage after Christ’s love for the Church.
I want her to see that being a mom is although at times exhausting, the most joyful “career” I could ever have.
I want to reflect grace. So that she can show it to others and herself.
I want her to live as one perfectly made and not worry about the clothes she wears, how skinny she looks or what grades she gets.
I want her to know that her value is not in whether she grows up to work a 9-5 or decides to be a stay at home mom.
I want her to know that she doesn’t have to do anything to win approval that she already has it. That our savior died on a cross for it regardless of how she measures up to this world’s standards.
And I’ll teach her about a lot of these things but many of them she learn not through my words but my actions.
Will I say that looks don’t matter but obsess over those few extra pounds?
I worry sometimes that I’ll get it wrong. . . but I know there is Grace. Always.
And this girl, who will be six tomorrow. She’s already teaching me a lot through her own reflection.
Just last Sunday, Easter Sunday. I was running late to church and I did what I pride myself on not usually doing.
I freaked out over shoes.
My lovely girl was ready in a beautiful Easter dress and as we were ready to walk out I noticed she was wearing sneakers. And I lost it. Over sneakers. I asked her to please find her black “church” shoes. Because they would “look” better with the dress.
And my girl, ever so wise just replied “does it matter?”
Humbled, I had to examine myself and realized that little black Mary Janes were SO not a big deal on the Biggest Deal day of the year because Christ died and rose for all of us in sneakers or fancy shoes. Does it matter?
No, sweet girl it really doesn’t matter. . .
Shoes don’t matter because WE matter. We mattered so much to God that He sent His son to die for us, all of us. No matter what we wear, what we look like, what we do. WE matter.
And that’s what I want her to see in my reflection. I want her to see Christ. I want her to be overwhelmed by His love. I want her to know how deeply she matters. I want her to truly believe He loves her and that this love is better than Anything.
Zohary… I can’t even. I just adore this whole post… that precious picture and your little one growing so fast and yes – the years are short and it sounds like you are doing great! Staying present… living on purpose… leaning in to know for you and for them that you are preapproved!
(My nearly grown girlie opted for jeans instead of her new Easter dress on Sunday… but she was by my side in His Presence and really, that is all that matters!)
Karrilee! Thanks so much for stopping by and for your sweet comment. Yes, realizing this whole preapproved thing is not just about me but also those little ones watching. Have a great day friend!
I love this post. Oh, how my girls have grown up so fast. I cannot believe my first born is married now, and youngest girl is soon to be 14. 14!!!!!! When does that happen? In the blink of an eye, they have grown up and I feel like I haven’t poured in enough. Your girlie is adorable.
Oh Barbie, thanks so much friend! Right, time is just flying by. . . Blessing to you and your not so “little” ones 🙂
Oh, I love her wisdom, “Does it really matter?” Thank God for the lessons he’s taught me through my children! You echo so many of my thoughts here (I have college age kids, too, and my baby is 9! But he can still curl into my side and snuggle, thank goodness!). Thank you.
Alyssa, thanks so much for stopping by. I know right, kids can be so wise at times. I’m constantly learning from my little ones. Blessings to you! Have a lovely weekend.
Love, love, love your open, honest, transparency…especially sharing about the shoes <3
Beth, thank you so much for your sweet comment. I really appreciate your words. Blessings!
Just wanted to share this post with you… http://bethwillismiller.blogspot.com/2014/01/reflecting-who-youre-beholding.html
I am feeling the pangs too as Alex graduated to the treehouse this week! He taught me something too – he was exhausted and basically refused to go to soccer practice. And of course I tried to make him go. And then I realized, in my own life, I often have trouble knowing when to stop and actually drop a commitment, if only once. Thank God for our kids who teach us! Love to you and Happy Day! – M.