Friends! I’ve missed you. I’ve been meaning to post but I have been let’s say “stalling”, waiting for the “perfect” thing to write about. Except I don’t have it. It doesn’t exist. Sorry :/
I keep thinking “I really need to get back to blogging but”. . . I freeze when I think about what I want to say. Like I really want to be wise, but also authentic and encouraging, and maybe a little funny? So instead I write nothing.
Well last month I shared about authenticity and in my post I talked about the guideposts for wholehearted living. This month I want to share the second guidepost which is “Cultivating Self‐Compassion: Letting Go of Perfectionism”.
You guys. I live this stuff. Seriously it’s not just what I coach to other people but I try to get it in my bones. So I’m giving myself some SELF-compassion and I’m writing this very imperfect but honest blog post with you because 1) I like writing and 2) I’ve missed this space and want to share my life with you friends.
Honestly I have million ideas running through my head, some I want to write about and share and some I need to write just for myself so I can process. I was sharing with a good friend the other day that I’m an idea girl. I have so many fun ideas/projects for work, life, kid’s activities, ministry, etc. but I know I can’t do them all so I get frustrated and then I freeze.
But just this past Sunday our pastor shared a good word about opportunities. He preached on the story of David and how he was on the run from King Saul who was trying to kill him. Well, he (David) ends up having an opportunity to kill Saul instead; David’s men are sure it’s an opportunity from God but he doesn’t see it like that and instead doesn’t harm Saul and makes sure he knows that David had no intention of ever harming Saul.
What? But he was trying to kill him; surely he would have been in the right to get Saul first.
Actually no. David used discernment and knew the Saul had been anointed by God and even though he probably had a bad ending coming it was not going to be on his hands.
Not all opportunities to reach our goals are sent from God.
Personally, life has been super fun & busy lately. We had a fabulous vacation visiting family back east, the kids had a great time at VBS last week and actually I’m flying out tonight to Concord, NC to attend the She Speaks conference.
I’m thrilled. Also, a little overwhelmed.
I have a lot of things I’m processing; books I want to write, services I want to offer, messages I want to share BUT I know that not all opportunities are from God so I need to be prayerful and selective about how I choose to spend my time.
Pastor shared several takeaways from his message but one that has stayed with me most is this question;“will this decision hinder or strengthen my integrity”?
I want to be a person of integrity. Both online and offline and so I want to engage in activities that will strengthen my integrity. For me that means activities that align with my values.
Now I am a BIG values girl. If you’ve worked with me, you know this already. I think identifying one’s core values is an essential part of living a life of purpose and passion. Otherwise we can wander around aimlessly or think that ALL things are important so really none of them actually are. Once we’ve identified what we value most we are able to engage in activities that align with our values and can better eliminate activities that do not (and not feel quite so guilty about it).
I’m not going to tell you what you should value; that’s not my place but I will tell you that you should be pretty clear about what matters most to you. As in the non-negotiables because while there are a lot of great causes, experiences, and activities we CANNOT be about ALL OF THE THINGS.
So as I head to the conference I’m praying that God will reveal what the right opportunities are and what I need to let go of or at least put on hold. And if you’re a praying sort of person I sure would appreciate it if you’d keep me in yours.
How about you friends? What are some ways that you’ve found helpful when determining whether to take on a new opportunity? And what are ways you cultivating self‐compassion and let go of perfectionism?