Because I’m a Mirror

My Sweet Girl is going to be SIX tomorrow.

We’ve been counting down the days to six since the beginning of April, I’m trying to be excited about it but my heart hurts just a little at my baby girl being not quite so little anymore.

Last year was hard as I counted down the last days of four but this year. . . SIX just seems so big!

And that thing about the days being long but the years short; I’m feeling it SO much right now.

And because I have teenagers I know exactly how short those years really are. And I’m realizing in just a blink she’ll be 12 and then 18 and then off getting married and having a family of her own.

What can I teach her in the years I have left?

I just finished reading Love Idol and in it Jennifer Lee says this,

We are all mirrors. What or rather whom will I reflect?

The truth is that all of my children will learn from what they see in my reflection but my daughter; she will learn to be a woman from what she sees in my reflection.

People say she looks like me so maybe in some ways she’s already my reflection. . .

What do I want her to see in me?

I know what I have reflected in the past. . .

• Insecurity
• Fear
• Anxiety
• Uncertainty
• Self-consciousness
• People pleasing
• Approval seeking

But that’s not what I want her to take away. I want her to see:

Confidence

Kindness

Humility

Joy

Love

I want her to experience the gift of true friendship. To be vulnerable, to cheer for her friends rather than compete with them.

I want her to learn about healthy relationships and see that though her dad and I are not perfect, we strive to honor God in our marriage.

I want her to see that being a wife (which I have had to bumble through and figure out on my own as I was raised by a single mom and did not have an example to look to) is not what the world says it should look like. That truly it is about humility, forgiveness and modeling marriage after Christ’s love for the Church.

I want her to see that being a mom is although at times exhausting, the most joyful “career” I could ever have.

I want to reflect grace. So that she can show it to others and herself.

I want her to live as one perfectly made and not worry about the clothes she wears, how skinny she looks or what grades she gets.

I want her to know that her value is not in whether she grows up to work a 9-5 or decides to be a stay at home mom.

I want her to know that she doesn’t have to do anything to win approval that she already has it. That our savior died on a cross for it regardless of how she measures up to this world’s standards.

And I’ll teach her about a lot of these things but many of them she learn not through my words but my actions.

Will I say that looks don’t matter but obsess over those few extra pounds?

I worry sometimes that I’ll get it wrong. . . but I know there is Grace. Always.

And this girl, who will be six tomorrow.  She’s already teaching me a lot through her own reflection.

Just last Sunday, Easter Sunday. I was running late to church and I did what I pride myself on not usually doing.

I freaked out over shoes.

My lovely girl was ready in a beautiful Easter dress and as we were ready to walk out I noticed she was wearing sneakers. And I lost it. Over sneakers. I asked her to please find her black “church” shoes. Because they would “look” better with the dress.

And my girl, ever so wise just replied “does it matter?”

Humbled, I had to examine myself and realized that little black Mary Janes were SO not a big deal on the Biggest Deal day of the year because Christ died and rose for all of us in sneakers or fancy shoes. Does it matter?

No, sweet girl it really doesn’t matter. . .

Shoes don’t matter because WE matter. We mattered so much to God that He sent His son to die for us, all of us. No matter what we wear, what we look like, what we do. WE matter.

And that’s what I want her to see in my reflection. I want her to see Christ. I want her to be overwhelmed by His love. I want her to know how deeply she matters. I want her to truly believe He loves her and that this love is better than Anything.