It’s been a while since I’ve posted and originally I had planned on a doing a “what we’ve been up” to kind of post but honestly I haven’t been doing anything terribly exciting I just haven’t much felt like writing because I’ve been busy living.
However, I’ve been realizing in the middle “living” that I’ve been struggling with “balance” which though I like the idea of it always seems to be rather elusive in practice.
Work-life balance. Me time/ family time balance, etc. Play-work time balance.
The last few weeks have been a lot of fun. Busy but good. We have celebrated birthdays as three of the six of us are spring babies. I’ve been reading some great books and watching Game of Thrones with the hubby.
We finished our homeschool year and have started on a lighter summer learning schedule. I’ve been coaching and taking steps to grow my business.
We’re excited for summer and are looking forward to spending time with friends and loved ones.
And I’ve been trying to be more present, to really enjoy each moment because I realized I only have 14 more summers left with my youngest and only 1 with my oldest.
But there’s pressure there even as I seek to be intentional about my time because the truth is that I still get distracted. I still think about chores while playing a game with the kids. I try to multi-task by reading my book while “watching” TV with my 15 yr. old.
And then I feel bad. . because I think that somehow I’m not giving each person or my undivided attention and I can’t seem to find the right balance. . .
I’ve mentioned that I’ve struggled with the whole do-it all supermom kind of life and I know I haven’t been alone in that struggle.
I’m a work in progress. Part of my redefining supermom goal has been to let go of the to-dos and rest in grace. I’m not great at juggling everything. I’m not a superb multi-tasker or anything like that so I can’t tell anyone how I do it all but what I can share is how I DON’T do it all. . .
Because while yes, I’m a wife and mom, a ministry leader and coach. I am not all things to all people all of the time. And I’m not sure that I’ll truly ever find that perfect balance and maybe that’s OK.
I know I have stressed over finding the right balance with work and home. With spending time with my kids but not revolving my life around them. With being independent but still having my husband be the leader in our home. Having ambition but staying humble and obedient to God’s calling on my life. And so on. . .
My friend Megan wrote a post the other day about finding rhythm. She talks about finding a rhythm while playing soccer and in life. And it was so timely because for the past week or so I had been singing Rhythms of Grace and really pondering the idea of finding more of a rhythm to my days.
I’m caught in the rhythms of grace
They overcome all of my ways
Realigning each step everyday
To live for Your glory
Sure, I’d like to have some kind of balance and aim to have time for family, marriage, work, chores, etc. But there are days when one has to take priority, there are times when my husband needs me more than the kids, when one child needs more attention than the others and when I have a project for work or ministry that needs to get finished.
There’s not a lot of “balance” those days. Not everything gets done. And I don’t even meet all needs those days. And yet they seem to be the days that make up my life and somehow everyone goes to bed maybe not having had all of my attention but knowing that they are loved. That’s grace.
And so there isn’t a balance in the sense of there being an equal measure on either side but rather I’m noticing it is more of a rhythm. Like a dance.
I can anticipate at just the right moment when the house is almost in absolute chaos that it will become overwhelming and I can step in and pick up and get it in order again. I can feel when a child is particularly needy and step in right before a meltdown. I can feel my body start to shut down and take time to rest and take it easy before my fibro gets the best of me.
And so I don’t do it ALL. I can’t. And I don’t want to. I just try to keep in step and follow the rhythm of the life God has for me. There are times the music picks up and I have to move with it and then there are the tender, slow moments that I can savor a bit more.
And always I am seeing they really are the rhythms of grace. The more I am unable of doing on my own, the more God is able to fill in and take care of the needs I am unable to meet.
How about you friends, do you struggle with balance or finding rhythms in your own life? What have you found to be helpful?