A Birthday Post

I love birthdays. They make me happy. You get all kinds of free things, people that you haven’t heard from in a while call or send FB messages wishing you a great day, and you may even get a random happy birthday text from your Optometrist’s office (maybe that’s just me). Anyway, today is my birthday. I’ll even tell you how old I am. 34. For some of you that might still seem youngish, for others not so much. For me it’s just right. I like the number, it feels comfortable.

For a long time I’ve been trying to get “there” to some magical number where I would start being seen as an adult. You see for many years I’ve told people I’m a certain age and I’ve gotten the “oh but you’re so young” response. I know they’ve meant it as some sort of compliment but to me it’s been a little condescending.

As if the fact that I had my first child at 18 has some how insulated me from the challenges that come from motherhood. It hasn’t. Motherhood and marriage are hard at any age. When your child is hurting or relationships let you down, it’s not any easier in your 20s than in your 30s or 40s. Or as if “being young” is some kind of protection against pain or suffering or a promise of health and vitality. It’s not; I’ve already been struggling with chronic pain and anxiety issues for years.

I’ve felt betrayed by this illusion of being “young”. Like an outsider, when I was the youngest of all of the parents in my kids’ school and just didn’t fit in or when I’ve tried to voice an educated opinion only to be met with a condescending look, like “that’s sweet dear, but you’ll think differently when your older”. I’m older, do my thoughts count now?

I’ve been seeking acceptance but from who? Who gets to decide when I’m “old” enough to matter? The reality is that I’m an “adult “because I say I am. I finally see myself as one who is competent, accomplished, even dare I say occasionally wise. Not only have I overcome challenges in my life but I’m also educated and have experiences to share. And so it’s only now that I am really able to feel confident in my own skin, in the person I am, in the woman God’s created me to be.

And it’s not really because I have somehow reached some magical number but because I’m finally open. This has been my year of Yes. My year of letting God transform me into the woman He sees me as. Yes, I’m a mom, wife, friend, daughter, etc. But I have been limiting myself by my small view of who I thought I was or could be. The truth is that I also have unique gifts, words, experiences, that He wants to grow in me. I have spent too many years feeling not quite “good enough” or “capable enough” and I know I have missed out. But I have made a choice to live with open hands. Because it is only with open hands that we can receive all that He wants to give.

I’m hoping this year and every year will continue to be years of “yes” because I can’t wait to see what He’s got for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve still got a few pounds to shed, health issues to improve, struggles to overcome, things to learn. But I’m looking forward to 34; I think it’s going to be a good one.

As I mentioned earlier, I love birthdays. I see them as great opportunities to celebrate people. And today I’m going to celebrate myself because you know what? At 34 I’m starting to finally really like me, weaknesses and all.

18“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.19 See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.”
Isaiah 43:18-19


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  1. I can relate to this. May your 34th year be full of growth and unexpected blessings. May you believe in the power of your voice, and may other be blessed because of it.

    Happy birthday, Zohary! I’m so glad we’re getting to know each other.

  2. It’s funny because I have been thinking about how uncomfortable I feel being 40. I turned 40 last year and it just doesn’t seem right and has been hard to accept! I could go on, but maybe we should save it for a personal chat!! Anyhoo, 34 IS a great age–Own it! ; ) And once again, Happy Birthday, Zohary!

    1. Hmmmm. Why DON’T we chat more?! I have no idea, but we need to because talking with you is a complete pleasure. And thanks for the ego-boost! 🙂

  3. Blessings for a wonderful year full of all the amazing things God has to give. Your post is wonderful. I wish I had known at 34 what you are realizing!

  4. This is beautiful! I think that anyone who has become a mother is automatically hurled head-first into adulthood! 😉 How beautiful that you can feel comfortable in your own age now. God bless!

  5. I love this post. Happy Birthday lady! It’s so true that being “young” doesn’t insulate us from pain, nor does being old. I say yes to the year of yeses too. What a thoughtful post.

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