The other day I mentioned that I had been in a “funk”. Really that means that I was feeling overwhelmed and under prepared. I have been working on some things that are a stretch for me. Homeschooling, blogging/writing and creating a new site for my church’s women’s ministry. I am not an expert in any of these things and yet I have felt called to do them. Not to mention just the everyday stuff that come with being a mom of four and wife that can already be overwhelming.
Truth is I’ve been struggling with confidence. It’s not a new struggle, but rather one I’ve been dealing with for a good portion of my life. When I was 18 I had my first child. As a young mom, I had no idea what I was doing. I felt overwhelmed and lost. I felt unqualified for the job and questioned why God would have picked me to be a mom when I was clearly unworthy. Quite frankly I was a mess and I had no confidence whatsoever in my abilities as a mom. Though really as moms do we ever feel fully prepared?
I’m now in my 30’s and though I’ve grown and learned a lot in the years since, I sometimes fall back and end up feeling like that young mom, questioning why God would pick me to do certain things. I struggle with feeling capable and worthy and thus I end up in a “funk”.
But in these times when I struggle with my own “self” I turn to the One who loves me no matter what. And I am reminded of how far I’ve come. I am reminded that He can make beautiful things out of the darkest situations. I am reminded that for whatever reasons that may be beyond my understanding He, the creator of the entire universe picked ME. He picked me to be mom to four beautiful treasures. Out of all the women in the world, He decided I was the best one for the job. He picked me to be my husband’s helper and soul mate and right now He’s picking me to take on some new challenges. And although I am a work in progress He has called me specifically to do His work and has a plan for my life.
The thing about confidence is that it’s not about what I can do out of my own strength or capabilities. I am fallen, weak and imperfect. It is about being confident in what God can do through me. And so I’m starting to hold my head up a little higher, ready to take things on with a better attitude and trusting that if He thinks I’m capable, then I must be right?
“Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Chris Jesus.” Philippians 1:6
How about you, do any of you ever get into “funks”? Or just struggle with confidence? What are some things that help you move forward and overcome them?