It’s Friday and I wasn’t planning on writing but with a word like Choose, the words just started flowing.
Anyway, here are the rules again: We write for five minutes flat. All on the same prompt that Lisa Jo posts at one minute past midnight EST ever Friday. No major editing (so forgive grammer/spelling mistakes) Just unscripted, unedited, real words.
I’m missing you and I find myself thinking about choices quite a bit lately. And I know you wonder, if I could go back would I choose differently? Would I choose a different path if I knew how things would turn out or would I choose you still?
It hasn’t been easy; I’ll admit that. But here’s the thing though I may wrestle with occasional wonderings and wanderings of thought briefly allowing voices asking the “what ifs”, the truth is that I would do it all over again.
I’ve learned from my experiences and have grown as a woman and as a mom. How could I ever grow if it were not for the hard times? When would I ever learn? And when would I need to lean on God if life was always easy.
I have a feeling that no matter what I chose, the hard times would always come just in different form. But you are a blessing to me; you’ve saved me from myself so many times. And at times I’ve felt unworthy of having you in my life. But those are all the things that brought me back to God. Were it not for the struggles I would have no need to fall on my knees.
Yes, I can see you rolling your eyes, wondering how I could even say that but it’s true. One day you will understand.
I’m sorry if I hurt you in the ignorance of my youth. Funny we seem to have that in common now, hurting those we love most. Forgive me. I haven’t always been humble, gentle or kind. I’ve been selfish, impatient, and harsh at times.
But love, there’s nothing that could ever make me wish I had made a different choice. If not for the mess, there’d be no need for redemption.
Yes, it hurts, it’s uncomfortable and painful.
And now, you have your own choices to make. What will you choose?
Which way will you go son?
I know which I’d like for you to choose because in love I’d like to spare you pain, but that truth is that it is YOU that will have to decide.
I hope you will choose:
Light rather than darkness
Hope over despair
Love over hate
Forgiveness over bitterness
Community over isolation
Truth over lies
Engagement over apathy
Eternity over the temporary
I hope you choose life
I know that I wish for you instinctively, the safe route; though maybe actually not so safe at all. But, if the hard choices ultimately lead you to where they’ve led me, then so be it. It’s hard to say but then I wish for you the hard times as well, the ones that will bring you to your own knees, the ones that will ultimately bring you home.
But just know that no matter your words, no matter your actions or what you choose to do, if I could go back I would still choose you, every time.